i can't do this anymore.

i hate myself. i hate msm community. you guys have done nothing for me you are genuinely the worst (you too you know who you are)

anyway hi, you may or may not know that im a bemeebeth fictionkin. why am i a bemeebeth fictionkin? it's a lot of reasons. i relate to the character ive made for them;i see them as a monster who tries to be happy and fit in with everyone else but they are much too mentally unstable. i think that describes me exactly. i struggle with identifying myself and understanding my emotions. i also use it kind of as a coping mechanism, as it helps me escape reality (sometimes). im not sure if anyone feels this way, but i really identify with the character so much that ive been strongly disassociating with my real self. but it doesn't stop me from reliving painful thoughts and memories. i wish it did. it's more like a shell or vessel sometimes.

now the reason why i mention this is because of the stupid conflict that's been happening recently. msm fans are known for starting petty shit. landen seems to have dropped an ad (for god knows what reason) featuring one of bandlab's ai features. bandlab is already the shittiest music making app known to man but i won't get into that right now. point is, he used bemeebeths "voice" (again for god knows why) for the ad and now everyone is saying bemeebeth is ai.

i know i might sound calm in this post but this shit is genuinely making me so mad. i was already having a horrid week AND i was already fucking mad before all of this but now..

first of all this is honestly making me feel insecure as a fictionkin of the very monster they're calling ai. and i mean haha i was already insecure and having an identity crisis but sure make it worse msm community! fucking troglodytes

and i already want myself dead again too because at this point i dont even wanna live on the same planet as those people. say im overreacting if you want, i dont even care, msm community doesn't like me anyway so whatever genuinely go fuck youself atp if you even mentioned it, i dont care if they're jokes or not, its not funny

and FOR YOUR INFORMATION! this isnt even at the least accurate. w/o research landen did not originally use bandlab for bemeebeth's voice. and the ai effect feature he mentioned dropped MONTHS after bemeebeth's release, possibly even this year (im not sure when exactly since its such a niche feature, but all ai stuff besides 1 thing was released after 2025)

i never wanted to talk about this. and im pretty anti ai myself already. its just really angering me and honestly i dont know whether its reasonable to be angry at landen too or not, i don't understand the thought behind this decision besides bemeebeth being "well-known/marketable"